Go Back   Anime Forum > Art Centre: > Art, Literature, Fanfiction, Videos, AMV's & OC World > Members own Fan Fiction

Members own Fan Fiction Members own Fan Fiction stories

Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Unread 04-08-2010, 02:45 PM
Raditzthehairball's Avatar
Raditzthehairball Raditzthehairball is offline
Veteran member
OC Guild 1
RPG'er
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Vietnam
Posts: 9,368
Points: 23,323, Level: 100
Points: 23,323, Level: 100 Points: 23,323, Level: 100 Points: 23,323, Level: 100
Activity: 0%
Activity: 0% Activity: 0% Activity: 0%
Blog Entries: 9
Rep Power: 0
Raditzthehairball has shown loyalty and contrubutedRaditzthehairball has shown loyalty and contrubuted
Send a message via MSN to Raditzthehairball Send a message via Yahoo to Raditzthehairball
Default The curse of Torians

this is my first time with fan fictions, hope ya like it

==


CHAPTER 1

He felt himself lying on a cold thing... maybe ...a table?... an ice berg? He didn't know for sure, but there was one thing : it was the coldest thing ever . He couldn't remember what happened to him, and why he couldn't even moved ..his head hurt , his muscles were like they were all paralyzed

He sensed some... people standing around him , he wasn't sure about this either , but he could hear them talking . Their voices sounded like some one was choking their throat . And their language , he had never heard before.

He forced his eyes to open < come on.... just...a little... >

As he could see something, he tried to focus on anything he saw . Everything were blurry and dark, there were indeed some figures standing around , looking down at him. One of them said something , then one of the figures standing on his left put it's cold and disguisting hand on him, whispered something , his body felt weaker...and weaker... until he couldn't control his eyes anymore, everything started fading...

darker ...

and darker....

===

His eyes opened, clouds were floating slowly on the light purple sky . Wind flown through yellow leaves on the tree , through the tall grasses ,which looked more like spears growing from the ground, around him . He was wearing a battle armor, actually, it was what he wear everyday ; putting both his arms behind his head ,his eyes staring at the sky.

Suddenly, between the grasses, a rabbit-like creature , except it had red fur, 6 legs , 3 black eyes and a fox tail , The rabrut ran fast out of it's nest underground . He lazily rolled his eyes to focus it , today's meal had been decided .And with a blink of an eye

*BLASTING SOUND*

The poor creature laid dead on the ground, it was toasted . He stood up with a bored face, killing a little animal would never made him feel good. Even if he killed a thousand of those things . He wagged his tail while walking toward the toasted rabrut . But before he could pick it up, 2 figures jumped fast and stole it from him. He was so surprised , but was also conscious enough to jump one step backward and stood in his fighting stance. he turned on his scouter , it beeped and two familiar power level appeared on it. But that only made him angrier .

One of the figures , who was holding his meal , laughed " hahahahahah , Raditz~! you are as pathetic as always "

The other one , who is a very tall and muscled , also laughed along " Vegeta , we ought ta do that again ! "

" shut it , Nappa, who said you can speak ?! " Vegeta snapped at the tall saiyan .

Raditz growled . he had known those two for a very long time, they had been comrades since they were teenage. Well, actually only him and Vegeta were at teen age. Nappa was an aldult , basically, Nappa was the best example for a saiyan : tall, muscled , impatient, no brains, and probably many other things that Raditz never wished to know. It was kinda sucks that such a huge saiyan like Nappa and him had to obey Vegeta, the shortest in his gang. But it can't be helped. Vegeta was too strong , and he also was the prince of all saiyans, well, at least until Vegeta-sei was destroyed. Nappa also realized that, so he decided to blindy follow every single order Vegeta would give him, and bully Raditz . But Raditz is different, he decide his own path , yet he still obeying Vegeta, or else ...

But they stole his meal, it wasn't hard to get, but he had been very starving , the last time he ate something was a week ago.Why? BECAUSE THOSE BADSTARDS ALWAYS STEAL HIS FOOD ! He thought he was lonely out here since they had missions , he was wrooooong , so damn wroooong .

" why are you here?! " he frowned " AND GIVE ME BACK MY LUNCH !!! "

" this is your lunch? don't make me laugh again , then why it wasn't in your hand " Vegeta mocked while swinging the rabrut left to right in front of Raditz.

The long haired saiyan gulped to prevent himself from drooling . He then charged at Vegeta , but as always, he was kicked away . His body smashed hard on the ground , damn that kick on the face was so hard , he grinded his teeth .

" fine! have it ! " He shouted as he stood up and spitted out blood from his mouth , quickly regained his cool.

Vegeta's face turned serious, he threw the creature aside . " Frieza gave us new mission . "

The speaking of Frieza destroyed the good atmosphere they were having . Frieza, the ruthless thing that called himself the garlactic overlord ( say that with funny voice XD ) that they have to obey . It brought them the gross just by thinking of that lizard .

" what is it? " Nappa grinned , oh yes, he loves missions

" as usual, take over a planet , this time is one called Toria . According the information i got , it's will take at least 1 month " Vegeta sat down on a rock behind him " and it's very large. So we must split up when we get there, to make things faster . I don't want to hear any ****ing complain or mocking about timing from that lizard and those two with him. "

" Are you sure? i don't think our little crying-baby Raditz will agree to go alooone " Nappa grinned while saying with amusing voice

Raditz grunted " you said it will take 1 month, then why not get your butts to the ships now!? " He ignored his screaming-for-food stomach , he wasn't in the mood to eat after they made fun of him anyway. He walked without waitng for the others .

Vegeta was surprised, Nappa was always the one who never wait, he chuckled and also stood up .

After a while, 3 space pods flew out of the planet's atmosphere.....
__________________
[CENTER][center][SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
[url=http://www.ilovevegeta123.deviantart.com/][size=4]PASTAAAA~[/size][/url][/center]
[/CENTER]

Last edited by Raditzthehairball; 04-08-2010 at 02:54 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Unread 04-08-2010, 02:57 PM
Veku's Avatar
Veku Veku is offline
Citizen: Royal Clan.
Blogger
OC Guild
RPG'er
Warrior
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 10,554
Points: 45,171, Level: 100
Points: 45,171, Level: 100 Points: 45,171, Level: 100 Points: 45,171, Level: 100
Activity: 0%
Activity: 0% Activity: 0% Activity: 0%
Blog Entries: 58
Rep Power: 11
Veku Has shown honour and chivalryVeku Has shown honour and chivalryVeku Has shown honour and chivalry
Default Re: The curse of Torians

Woah! Great work Vegena! I love it
__________________


Is that the best you can do?
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Unread 04-09-2010, 08:53 AM
Kakarot's Avatar
Kakarot Kakarot is offline
Citizen
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Vegetas
Posts: 882
Points: 5,479, Level: 50
Points: 5,479, Level: 50 Points: 5,479, Level: 50 Points: 5,479, Level: 50
Activity: 0%
Activity: 0% Activity: 0% Activity: 0%
Blog Entries: 10
Rep Power: 9
Kakarot is on a distinguished road
Send a message via AIM to Kakarot Send a message via MSN to Kakarot Send a message via Yahoo to Kakarot
Default Re: The curse of Torians

wow very good!.....I luv your fan fic!...... *huggles* ......write more!
__________________
Kaka
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Unread 04-09-2010, 10:44 AM
Raditzthehairball's Avatar
Raditzthehairball Raditzthehairball is offline
Veteran member
OC Guild 1
RPG'er
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Vietnam
Posts: 9,368
Points: 23,323, Level: 100
Points: 23,323, Level: 100 Points: 23,323, Level: 100 Points: 23,323, Level: 100
Activity: 0%
Activity: 0% Activity: 0% Activity: 0%
Blog Entries: 9
Rep Power: 0
Raditzthehairball has shown loyalty and contrubutedRaditzthehairball has shown loyalty and contrubuted
Send a message via MSN to Raditzthehairball Send a message via Yahoo to Raditzthehairball
Default Re: The curse of Torians

THANK YOU ALL ^^
( will fix this later )


CHAPTER 2

After a month, the surface of planet Toria trembled as 3 saiyan pods smashed deep into the ground, destroyed many trees on their way.

They stepped outside . In front of them , a planet with dark gray sky, no grassed , actually, in stead of grasses , there are purple mosses covered most of the ground. There also are many marshes , the trees are super tall, they almost covered the sky above , creeperes hanged down or twined around the trees like snakes . The leaves are all dark green, nearly as dark as black

Raditz took a deep breath , the peaceful air on this planet will soon disappear along with every living things on it . Pity that, but he will soon enjoy this. He couldn't wait to see the terrified faces , the destruction , to hear the screaming , ... For a second, he had a strange feeling about this planet.

" okay, i will go this way " Vegeta pointed to the left " Nappa this way " pointed forward " and Raditz... hey Raditz, you listening? " he frowned

Raditz snapped out of his thinking bubbles " er...what? "

" hurry! I can't wait to start my favorite part " Nappa said impatiently

Vegeta still frowning " Raditz, you gotta pay more attention when i speak! Now , you go that way "

Raditz looked where Vegeta pointed " why am i the only one who must go deep into the jungle? "

" stop asking nonsense , tell me the situation each hour through the scouter . NOW MOVE ! " Vegeta ordered then quickly disappear from their sight , so did Nappa.

Now that he was alone, Raditz kicked the nearest tree hard " those elites, they think they are so good! " , the poor tree cracked then collapsed . he kept on muttering and cursing on his way into the forest. With his scouters , it wasn't hard to find the village. He stood on a tall tree's branch , looking down at the pitiful creatures . They look like bugs , different kinds of bugs . But the most common bugs are those with only one eye , brown skinned , 4 tiny insect wings on their back . When they talk, sound came out like buzzing sound . They were all doing their normal job : collecting honey from huge flowers they grown ; or just chatting, ... unaware what will happen to them. Raditz chuckled . He landed on the mossy ground in the middle of their village. The creatures stared at him, probably wondering what kind of bug is that . Raditz grinned evilly as he charged 2 energy ball in his hands .

He fired both at the same time , destroyed everything in his left and right . The bugs decided that it was time to panic , they screamed and ran chaoticly , trying to get into the forest . But Raditz would never give them a chance, he blasted , smashed , crushed everything , every creatures were caught in his sight with no hesitate .

" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!! " he laughed , he enjoyed the blood pouring on the ground , and the sound of destruction. He stopped as he had killed all the villages , weren't enough, he wasn't satisfied yet, but decided to take a break. His stomach growled , sounds like their meal on a nearby planet , which also Frieza's , wasn't enough either. He looked around, he doubt there are food around here . Darn it, he already destroyed everything in the village >( He crushed the head of a bug under his foot . Then sat down on a big tree root . The scouter suddenly rang, made Raditz fell off the root , he quickly clicked the button .

" REPORT ! " Vegeta's voice sounded like he was annoyed . No doubt it was Nappa .

" easy , easy ! Everything is under control here , i blasted the crap out of the strange creatures living here ... " he replied

" Good, not bad for a low-class " Vegeta chuckled then suddenly shouted " NAPPA! STOP SINGING IN THE SCOUTER! "

Raditz laughed , those two can be very hilarious sometimes. Suddenly , something moved fast into the darker part of the forest. He blinked, then stood up to run after it .

Some figures standing on the trees , watching every moves of the saiyans.
__________________
[CENTER][center][SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
[url=http://www.ilovevegeta123.deviantart.com/][size=4]PASTAAAA~[/size][/url][/center]
[/CENTER]

Last edited by Raditzthehairball; 04-09-2010 at 11:02 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Unread 04-11-2010, 03:22 AM
Raditzthehairball's Avatar
Raditzthehairball Raditzthehairball is offline
Veteran member
OC Guild 1
RPG'er
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Vietnam
Posts: 9,368
Points: 23,323, Level: 100
Points: 23,323, Level: 100 Points: 23,323, Level: 100 Points: 23,323, Level: 100
Activity: 0%
Activity: 0% Activity: 0% Activity: 0%
Blog Entries: 9
Rep Power: 0
Raditzthehairball has shown loyalty and contrubutedRaditzthehairball has shown loyalty and contrubuted
Send a message via MSN to Raditzthehairball Send a message via Yahoo to Raditzthehairball
Default Re: The curse of Torians

CHAPTER 3

" dammit , Nappa, you are so lucky that I'm on a different direction ! " Vegeta grunted while walking. He suddenly stopped , then turned back , looking up at a tree top " COME OUT NOW OR I'LL MAKE YOU !!! " He shouted.

The figure reveled itself. It was wearing a long hooded coat, it's face, or where suppose to be a face, was totally black . Vegeta frowned . It jumped off the tree branch and dashing toward Vegeta . The prince dodged the attack then blasted . He chuckled as the burned body fell on the ground . But he didn't have a chance to say anything, because, right in front of his eyes, the creature split in half and became 2 separate body. " what th-" Vegeta couldn't believe his eyes . Both figures charged at Vegeta.

" VEGETA! I'm being attacked~! " Nappa's voice sound excited through the scouter

" what *dodge* so funny about *kicks* that!? " Vegeta replied then blasted both of the figures. Then again, they spitted , this time 4 were created. Vegeta calculated . At this rate... he will soon face over 9000 enemies~! (lol) He knew that if he kill them, they will continue to multifly themselves more. But if he don't attack them, they'll attack him! He tried to think of something while blocking their attacks . He 's strong indeed, but he can't fight forever

" VEGETA! THEY CAN REGENERATE!!! "

" I know "

" VEGETA! THEY CAN MULTIFLY THEMSELVES!!! "

" I know ! "

" VEGETA! AT THIS RATE... "

" I KNOW ! JUST SHUT THE HELL UP , NAPPA! I'M TRYING TO CONCENTRATE!!! " Vegeta yelled , god , he should've turned off the scouter .

==

Raditz was still following the track of the strange thing. Actually he lost it, but still too curious to go back. He had turned off the scouter so he had no idea aout the ambush on his comrades. He kept on running until a large abyss blocked his way. He looked at both sides , there was something unnatural about it, but he not sure what. He stepped closer and looked down to see what under it. Nothing but rocks ... maybe he was too careful . He remembered that he hasn't informed to Vegeta yet, crap! he turned off the scouter the entire time~! As soon as he turned on the scouter, he heard his comrades yelling , with fighting and blasting sounds in the background.

" e...what's happening? " He blinked while asking

" RADITZ!? WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!? " Vegeta shouted in rage. Thousands figures surrounding him , probably more than that. About Nappa, it's worse, the stupid saiyan kept on killing those things so the result was ... not so good ...

" sorry, i turned off the scout- "

" GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW! WE..*stopped for awhile* need help" Vegeta rolled his eyes , this is so humiliating , he needed help from a low-class

" a...o..okay..." He said while locating his comrades's power levels, he totally freaked out, Vegeta had never called for help . Suddenly, before he could even noticed, something hit him hard on the head and he fell into the abyss. His body when smashing on rocks , cliffs ,... then he crashed face first on the metal ground...wait, metal ground!? He tried to get up, but something, again , kicked him into the wall . His scouter fell off , he heard Vegeta was saying something , but couldn't hear what. A foot with claws stomped on his scouter, broke it into peices . Then he started losing consciousness .

==

" Raditz ! "

{ Sssssss....the scouter you are trying to connect's signal is nowhere to be found....Sssssss }

Vegeta sweatdropped , he didn't know the scouters have this kind of- His thought stopped as the enemies dashing to him from every directions .
__________________
[CENTER][center][SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
[url=http://www.ilovevegeta123.deviantart.com/][size=4]PASTAAAA~[/size][/url][/center]
[/CENTER]
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Unread 04-17-2010, 03:17 PM
Raditzthehairball's Avatar
Raditzthehairball Raditzthehairball is offline
Veteran member
OC Guild 1
RPG'er
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Vietnam
Posts: 9,368
Points: 23,323, Level: 100
Points: 23,323, Level: 100 Points: 23,323, Level: 100 Points: 23,323, Level: 100
Activity: 0%
Activity: 0% Activity: 0% Activity: 0%
Blog Entries: 9
Rep Power: 0
Raditzthehairball has shown loyalty and contrubutedRaditzthehairball has shown loyalty and contrubuted
Send a message via MSN to Raditzthehairball Send a message via Yahoo to Raditzthehairball
Default Re: The curse of Torians

CHAPTER 4
He whimpered . The first thing he know : he was still in that place, or wherever he was. Still, cold, still… That’s it, he couldn’t take it anymore. Raditz started gathering his power , he can fell his muscles regaining strength . With a loud roar , he broke blew everything around him up. He narrowed his eyes from left to right. Good, he killed all those pathetic creatures >D

He realized he was on a space ship, he could tell that because he could clearly see everything outside through the small glass window. “ Darn it! How long have I passed out!? “ He mumbled . The back of his head still aching . Then through the glass, he saw a huge planet. Most of it was blue, there are a few parts of green, brown,…it also covered in clouds, and half dark, half light. He hasn’t never seen this planet before, this confirmed that he passed out long enough for these creatures to take him here…

The door suddenly opened and a bunch of guards ran in, they fired at him with no sign of stopping. Raditz was getting excited, at least he have game to play. No need to dodge , he swung his hand across the bullets ’s track. A huge explosion , he smarted enough to not destroy the ship’s shell . Then ran out of the room, blasted everything move into his sight. But as he got into the control room, he stopped . There was only one person standing in the middle of the room, seemed like the person was waiting for him.

“ that was a good performance, as I expected from a saiyan. “ the person clapped his hands as he walking out of the darkness. He was wearing a long black coat with white grass like patterns on it. He has teal skin, long light green hair ( to shoulder length ) . Looking at his feet, Raditz realized this was the one who attacked him earlier. That’s right, the last thing he saw was that … feet with claws…=.=

Raditz frowned at the person “ who are you? And why did you bring me here!? “
“ take it easy, one question at a time “ he chuckled then put one hand on his chin , eyed at the ceiling “ where should I start … how about … your father “ He narrowed his eyes to Raditz

“ you are definitely not my father “ Raditz raised one eye brow
The person then giggled “ no, I was talking about a story with your father in it, how stupid you saiyans are ? “

Raditz dashed to him “ DON’T EVER CALL SAIYANS STUPID ! “. The alien raised his right hand, Raditz was pushed back and pinned to the floor by some kind of forces .
“ It began on a peaceful planet, called Toria . It wasn’t the planet you and your foolish friends attacked , that planet was just a fake one . We, Torians , were living the best days of our life, no worry, everything was perfect. “ He leaned against the pilot chair’s back ( the ship was at Auto mode )

Suddenly his eyes became sharp and angry. “ until you saiyans arrived , destroyed everything, killed the entire race ! “ He shouted as he couldn’t control his anger. He then stood up straight and suddenly appeared behind Raditz “ A little boy’s family died by a strong saiyan ‘s hand .That family was the strongest in the village, they fought until the last minute of their life “

Raditz punched , but he wasn’t there

“ The boy’s father pushed him into a saiyan space ship . He witnessed his father was blew into pieces as the ship took off. It was a miracle that boy can escape the horror. He cried, screamed in nightmares ; and he came up with a solution. He will make the saiyans suffer what he been through.” The person continued the story as he appeared back where he was , near the pilot seat .”But too bad, someone already did that. , so, he came up with another plan, to make the son of that saiyan who killed his family suffer. The boy’s name was Kasir , as you may already guessed, I am Kasir . And the saiyan, is YOUR FATHER “

Raditz yelled and dashed to him again “ LET’S SEE WHO’LL MAKE WHO SUFFER!!! “

Kasir raised his left hand…

…then suddenly it came
__________________
[CENTER][center][SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
[url=http://www.ilovevegeta123.deviantart.com/][size=4]PASTAAAA~[/size][/url][/center]
[/CENTER]
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Unread 04-17-2010, 03:27 PM
Veku's Avatar
Veku Veku is offline
Citizen: Royal Clan.
Blogger
OC Guild
RPG'er
Warrior
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 10,554
Points: 45,171, Level: 100
Points: 45,171, Level: 100 Points: 45,171, Level: 100 Points: 45,171, Level: 100
Activity: 0%
Activity: 0% Activity: 0% Activity: 0%
Blog Entries: 58
Rep Power: 11
Veku Has shown honour and chivalryVeku Has shown honour and chivalryVeku Has shown honour and chivalry
Default Re: The curse of Torians

I love it!
__________________


Is that the best you can do?
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Unread 04-20-2010, 01:32 PM
Karenhiwatari Karenhiwatari is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 1,543
Blog Entries: 2
Rep Power: 0
Karenhiwatari is on a distinguished road
Default Re: The curse of Torians

O.O It's great.
Cliffhanger. I love cliffhanger.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Unread 04-20-2010, 01:34 PM
Raditzthehairball's Avatar
Raditzthehairball Raditzthehairball is offline
Veteran member
OC Guild 1
RPG'er
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Vietnam
Posts: 9,368
Points: 23,323, Level: 100
Points: 23,323, Level: 100 Points: 23,323, Level: 100 Points: 23,323, Level: 100
Activity: 0%
Activity: 0% Activity: 0% Activity: 0%
Blog Entries: 9
Rep Power: 0
Raditzthehairball has shown loyalty and contrubutedRaditzthehairball has shown loyalty and contrubuted
Send a message via MSN to Raditzthehairball Send a message via Yahoo to Raditzthehairball
Default Re: The curse of Torians

muhaahahaa I'm evil for putting a cliff hanger there

thank you all
__________________
[CENTER][center][SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
[url=http://www.ilovevegeta123.deviantart.com/][size=4]PASTAAAA~[/size][/url][/center]
[/CENTER]
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Higurashi no Naku Koro ni - Tatarigoroshi-hen (Curse Killing Chapter) Asamoya When They Cry. 6 07-03-2011 08:04 AM
One Piece Movie 5: Curse of the Sacred Sword Resistance One Piece Movies 49 02-25-2011 10:51 PM
Higurashi no Naku Koro ni: Tatarigoroshi-hen (Curse Killing Chapter) Asamoya General Manga Discussion 0 07-26-2010 03:54 AM
An Android in Mourning WARNING: (contains curse words) Attou Members own Fan Fiction 5 01-06-2010 03:02 PM
A Prince in Mourning WARNING: (this has some curse words in it) Attou Members own Fan Fiction 6 01-06-2010 11:27 AM


All times are GMT. The time now is 01:52 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
www.animeforum.org.uk