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Gotta get this off my chest.

Posted 07-27-2014 at 09:15 AM by +Masamune+

Hey everyone, not news or anything just some light venting sense i haven't told anyone about this.

About a year ago i was in a long distance relationship with someone for about 4 years (i know right?) but sadly it broke apart and not for the best either. I know people kept telling me long distance relationships don't work but i thought this would be different. I loved everything about her and within a year i was going to save up time and money to see her in person and even get her out of the place she lived. We both constantly talked about it and i would constantly fantasize about all the things we could finally do together; i could cook for us, take us to see a movie, ...actually hold her in my arms, be there for her to make up for the times that i couldn't when we where apart....but suddenly that all went out the window when she suddenly decided to stop talking to me.
I noticed a slight communication distance starting to form between us so i tried doing the things she liked and tried talking to her when i could in hopes that would help. sadly it didn't and days of silence ended up turning into weeks. I started to panic a little bit because i had nothing to work off of and questions kept running through my head; was she hurt? Was she sick? Did i say something wrong? Does she not like me anymore? If it was could i fix it? Men usually have a tendency to feel obligated that they need to fix something when its broke. She still stayed silent, i knew she read and heard my messages but for some reason she wouldn't reply to them.....months went by and still she wouldn't say anything to me. I finally broke down and told her that if i did or said anything wrong that i was sorry, but i couldn't handle the silence anymore, so i suggested that we separate; not forever, but maybe this time apart was something she needed. i told her i would not message her in any way, to prevent temptation from talking to her again i unfriended her from all social media, i don't remember her phone number, the only way i can contact her is if i go to her house directly or she calls me by phone or sends a friend request on Facebook.
I still haven't heard anything from her and i'm not positive that i will. I've constantly thought about going to her house and surprise her but i think that would be a bad thing to do out of the blue....It's just really hard after being with someone that long with high hopes for the future to have it all disappear in an instant and it still eats at me everyday; hearing songs, playing games, reading things that remind me of her. Felling envious of couples around me everyday, and its bad enough that i have trouble talking to people normally in real life, but finding someone i could finally talk to intimately and express my feelings to was the best feeling anyone could have, but now i just feel hollow and put on a fake smile for people around me. I've attempted to try again but ive either been declined or been to much of a wuss to say it right out to someone.
BUT im not one to just lay down when i get knocked down, my optimistic attitude wont let me. I'm intending to move on from this experience. ive already moved on in terms of getting a new job, a new home, my physical appearance, and overall view of things around me. I still feel hollow and alone even though i have friends all around me but that doesn't mean i'm not happy.
Sorry for the drawn out sob story but i feel a little better that i said it to where others can see. Not sure if what i did was the right thing, but i hope she is still ok and i want both of us to move on from this.
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Comments

  1. New Comment
    Blaksun's Avatar
    Sorry to hare it , Thanks for say\posting it , it is good to know that it is not just me that go and wonder if i cut\can\ fix it, blam my self wen some one stop talk to me...
    hope you one day find out way

    Best off luck moving on , ^^
    Posted 07-28-2014 at 05:20 PM by Blaksun Blaksun is offline
  2. New Comment
    Saber's Avatar
    I really feel sad when I heard this. So much time invested in another person just to come to nothing. It is a shame but that is the problem with long distance relations. You can never know if it is all okay. And even if it is it is hard to make a normal live next door relationship to work.
    Sometimes I get angry with people that never let you know anything. It would have been at least decent to let you know where you stood. I think you have done the right thing. You could have gone to see them but maybe it would have been a big waste of money and you would have found something to make you really upset. No you did the right thing. And now I think you should aim to have a closer distance relationship. You never know when you will meet someone.
    Posted 07-28-2014 at 06:57 PM by Saber Saber is offline
  3. New Comment
    Dragonlady's Avatar
    Matt... it probably wasn't anything you did or said to her. She probably found someone new to fill your spot and started giving you the cold shoulder. I know that sounds harsh, but it's probably the real reason since I've seen it happen before with some friends.

    I know you are hurting right now especially not knowing what happened. But take your time and try to move on from this. You will find someone who will fill that emptiness in your heart that she left. It might take years, but it will happen. And if you need someone to vent to, I've got a big shoulder to lean on.
    Posted 07-29-2014 at 09:58 PM by Dragonlady Dragonlady is offline
  4. New Comment
    +Masamune+'s Avatar
    thanks for the replies everyone.
    i actually finally stopped being a wuss and asked out a friend ive known for a while and she said yes so now i have a girlfriend again shes pretty awesome feel so much better now
    Posted 09-08-2014 at 08:59 PM by +Masamune+ +Masamune+ is offline
  5. New Comment
    Dragonlady's Avatar
    That's great Matt! I'm so happy for you.
    Posted 09-09-2014 at 02:04 AM by Dragonlady Dragonlady is offline
  6. New Comment
    Vegeta's Avatar
    awesome masa im happy for you
    Posted 09-09-2014 at 02:25 PM by Vegeta Vegeta is offline
 

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