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Unread 11-13-2009, 02:51 PM
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Chapter 1:first day jitters
It was my first day at James F. Carter high school, but to be truthful I wasn’t one bit scared. I wasn’t even excited because I knew what to expect. It’s always the same. I mean first I would go to the attendance office to get my schedule and then there would be some nosy kid that would volunteer to show me around. Then they would ask questions like how old are you, do you have a
boyfriend, what’s your name, what school did you come from, what are your classes, and if they’re really brave do you like boys or girls. Oh boy first days are the peek of my existence. NOT. I mean yea I get them wanting to know and all but that’s something that you don’t ask. Even if I were into girls I wouldn’t tell them. But back to what I was saying before I got off track…what was I talking about oh yea first days. I just hate them so much but oh well whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger so I might as well get this over with.

I walked into the office trying to look as calm as possible and sure enough some kid was staring at me through hazel eyes. Truthfully I couldn’t blame her. I mean be serious how many times do you see a girl with dark skin and green eyes. I’ll tell you rarely I mean I’m the only person I’ve ever met who looks like this. Maybe my mom and dad looked this way but I’ve never met them. Being adopted sucks especially if you have no family history at all. Only thing that I know about them is that they left me on the friggin steps of an orphanage in West Virginia. Well at least they left a note. Only thing I have to remember them by. I’ve read that note over a thousand times until I memorized how it looked, felt, and what it said.

Dear reader,
Please take care of my sweet little Raven. Please give her all the love she wants and needs. Love her through the good and the bad and do what I couldn’t and stay with her.

Wasn’t that hard to memorize. The notes so dang short that a five year old could read it without difficulty (but I might get it laminated). Still it makes me feel like I belong somewhere every time I read it (okay definitely getting laminated). Only dream I have is to meet at least one of my real family members and say at least three words to them even if it is over the phone. Shoot I’d settle for a glance of one of them from a distance. This may sound really stupid but if I can do that then you won’t have to worry about me asking for anything else ever again. When I looked up that kid was still staring at me, and then I heard it “Raven”, the voice said, “ It’s about time you got here. I’ve been waiting.” I looked up but only people that were in the office were the receptionist and that kid who I was starting to think had an eye problem. So I asked as politely as I could “what are you looking at?” and she quickly turned her head. Smart kid.

thats part of chapter 1 posting the rest in a sec
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rest of chapter 1
Then the receptionist looked up at me and said “what do you need sweetheart?” Oh joy just what I need a receptionist that knows how to use sarcasm. Gee this day just keeps getting better and better. “I need to get my schedule,” I informed her. “Today is my first day if you haven’t noticed” I said making sure to make myself sound as rude as possible. I’ve been around long enough to know that to deal with nasty people sometimes you need to get nasty right back at them. “Oh, O.K.” was all she said before handing me my schedule. Shutdown slaboosh. “I’ll call a student up to show you around then” she said in her sweetest voice probably trying to redeem herself “till then why don’t you take a seat.” I walked over to the only chair in the office (talk about low funding) and how lucky can I get, that kids staring at me again.

So I try to ignore her when all of a sudden she takes it upon herself to start a conversation. “Hi” she said “my names Katie.” Well little red headed Katie must be a little bit crazy because I know she saw that my shirt said antisocial and that I don’t like people who look like they should play the little girl in a Wendy’s commercial. Still I decided to be nice so I said, “Hey my name is Raven” and started texting the fat slut otherwise known as my foster mother to let her know that I made it to school ok. Now I don’t know what’s wrong with Katie but I guess she thought that made us friends. So then she whispered, “You must be really brave to tell Ms. Lopez off.” I stared at her like she had just spoken in some unheard language, but I guess she understood because she pointed to the receptionist. I said the only thing that I could say to keep my cool “oh that’s her name.” and that’s how you keep you’re cool“ Oh yea you are new but still nobody ever talks to her that way.” I looked at her and she just stared back till finally I said “why?”

She still stared at me like I was speaking Latin till I said, “why doesn’t anybody ever talk to her that way?” this time she seemed to understand. “Oh because…” but before she could say anything else she was cut off by a girl with pale blue eyes and straight blond hair who came and stood behind me and said “Raven Portellio” I looked at her and said “yea what’s it to you” she glared at me and said “I’m supposed to show you the school you little roach” and before I could say anything she smiled and said “finally somebody else in this school with a backbone” and you want to know what I did I smiled right back and then she said “cool lets go.” So here we were walking down the hallway when I just happened to notice she was wearing what I was wearing except in red… and it kinda looked like the one I lost last year. So I said, “Hey were did you get your shirt?” “Oh I don’t remember,” she said smiling slightly. Then all of a sudden she asked a question that nobody had ever dared to ask me before. She said the words so smooth and clear like she had been planning to ask me this all along. Though the words were so simple something behind them made it very complex and hard to understand “so why are you so bitter” and for the first time in a long time I was speechless. I truthfully didn’t know how to respond.
So then I told her my whole life story. I hadn’t even known this girl for five minutes and somehow I felt compelled to tell her. Like she was a part of me… the part that would be able to make sense of it all. Then once I had finished spilling my guts she told me hers.

She said in a calm clear voice, “Well when I was six my step dad hit my mom a lot but every time I asked her why she put up with it she would always reply the same way. She would say with the same sadness in her eyes that she dealt with it because they loved each other. And then after asking the question again I got really mad when she replied the same way and I told her that what they had wasn’t love. That it was just two people together because they were afraid to be alone. That the only reason she put up with his bull was because she thought she couldn’t do any better, and he only beat her because he knew he wasn’t man enough for her. He thought abusing my mother made him more of a man when all it did was show that he was weak.” She said, her voice now full of emotion.

“Then when I turned fourteen he beat my mom again and I just couldn’t handle it. I knew that I couldn’t stay there any longer. So I asked their permission to leave knowing the answer was already yes.” She paused for a short while and then said, “ Haven’t spoken to them since. Been living alone for 4 years now and I’ve never needed anybody.” The girl said this while looking up at the sky though I could have sworn I had just seen a tear glistening on her pale skin, but when I blinked it was gone. I stared at her in total awe and finally when I was able to speak again I said, “That must be the life not having to worry about anything. You know and being able to make your own decisions” “yea” she said the ends of her mouth slowly turning upward, “it is pretty awesome. Oh and by the way my names Kasha.”

After that we became really good friends learning that we had a lot in common. Shoot you could probably call us best friends. Somehow I had even managed to become friends with Katie who turned out to be one of the funniest people I have ever met. I know it shocked me to especially since I thought she was a goody goody. Whoever said don’t judge a book by its cover must have been a genius or something like that. And then before two weeks was up the devil just had to show his ugly face and screw up my life again.

Katie came to school that following Tuesday with an endless stream of tears running down her face. I didn’t know what was happening. And then I asked her what was wrong and she launched into her story faster than I could eat a bag of chips (which is really fast by the way). She said through sobs “ when you guys brought mmmme home from the the movies my ma mom was sitting in the kitchen waiting and asked where I’d been. So I told her that I had went to the movies with you guys. And here’s the part that gets me so mad” she said getting so angry that her ears turned red “my ex boyfriend Johnny that hates my guts caught us and told my mom that we snuck into a movie and she got so mad that she kicked me out and now I’m friggin homeless. That’s what’s wrong.” Then she started crying again.

Wow she got kicked out for that. WTF. Then before I could comment Kasha did something that I never expected. She said, “Cool it Katie you can live with me.” Both Katie and me looked at her confused for like five minutes and then Katie said, “thank you oh thank you so much. You don’t know how much this means to me. I swear I’ll make it up to you somehow. I’ll help pay rent make dinner….” She trailed on and on until Kasha stopped her and said, “don’t worry about it. I inherited the house from my great granddad so there is no rent.”

“Hold up” I said sounding puzzled “did you just say she could live with you?” “o.k. is it that hard to believe that I can be nice?”, Kasha said sounding annoyed. “Yes” Katie and I said in unison. “Uggh” Kasha said looking very annoyed “I am not mean” We all laughed at that. “Seriously” she said, “I can be nice though.” “Sure” I said not sounding convinced “and Katie is a serial killer”

Katie stood shocked for three whole seconds when she screamed, “oh my god that makes us roommates right?” It wasn’t hard to see that she was excited. “I’ve always wanted a roommate especially since I never had any brothers or sisters. This is going to be awesome.” She said babbling on and on.

“Oh how sweet” the voice said, “Little Raven has finally got friends” “Hold up am I the only person who heard that?” Just then I noticed that Katie was trembling and Kasha was looking around like she had seen a ghost. “Yea I think I heard it to” Kasha said trying to sound cool but I heard her voice quiver a little. Katie peered at us through puffy red eyes and said, “I think the smart thing for us to do would be to make like a banana and split!” After staring at her for a long time I laughed and said, “how corny can you get?” “I think I can answer that one. She can get very corny” ,Kasha said. “shut up Kasha” Katie said sounding like an angry 4 year old. “We probably should be getting to class though.” “Fine but after school we’re gonna go get orphan Annie’s stuff okay” “cool” I said. And then we headed off to biology still shaken by the mysterious voice. If only we would have known that with the voice a new life.
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Unread 11-13-2009, 02:59 PM
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I liked the first chapter of your little story ^_^
However, I want to give you the tip to put talking lines on new line. It makes it easier for the reader to read
Again - good chapter. Hope to see more
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Unread 11-13-2009, 03:00 PM
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k and thanks for the feedback about to post the second chapter
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Unread 11-13-2009, 03:01 PM
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Sounds great ^_^
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Unread 11-13-2009, 03:01 PM
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Chapter 2:stupid dog


After school we went to get my stuff and wouldn’t you know it my mom had set it all on her front lawn. Kasha and Raven both looked in shock. OMG what a b---- , was the expression that was on there face. Kasha was the first to speak “Katie you never told us your mom hates you!” “Ehh you get used to it.” Raven could not believe that I got out the truck and started putting stuff in the back like it was a normal day. I don’t why the hell does she deal with that? “Hey Katie give me a lighter and some gasoline.” “Katie don’t! You of all people should know that Raven belongs in a crazy home” Kasha said smiling.“ I do not…” Raven said pretending to be hurt by her words “I belong in a mental institution. There’s a difference.” “Oh wow,” I said while rolling my eyes.

Then we saw an angel in human form. He was just Oh My God; he was the most delicious and outrageously beautiful boy that has ever graced this earth. I just about died from a heart attack when his chocolate brown eyes connected with my hazel ones. The boys that were with him were hot, but they could not compare to him. Only word that I could think of to describe him was yummy. He wasn’t wearing a shirt and I could see why his muscles were just wow. He had a friggin eight pack. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?

“Katie what are you looking at?” Raven asked and then she followed my eyesight and screamed out “damn he sexy as a mother f--- er!” The boy then turned and smiled and he started walking towards us. My first reaction was to turn and walk away but Raven was gripping my arm so hard now that there was no chance of escape. Then Kasha was at my side shaking her head because the other boys were following him over to where we were standing. “Great” she said, “this kid comes with disciples.” She rolled her eyes and put on her meanest face, which could scare tougher men, but these boys seemed oblivious.

When they reached us, they said, “What’s up shawties?” “ Nothing we were just about to go,” I said before Kasha could say anything and then she opened her big mouth and said “We would be better if you and your lackeys didn’t come and use up most of our air supply” Kasha said with a bite. Raven was just speechless; all she said was “ahhhh bbooo.”

The angel like boy chuckled and said “ Yo my name’s Joseph,” I cut in and said, “This is Raven I’m Katie and little miss rudeness is Kasha.” “Raven is such a beautiful name,” Joseph said, hmmm wonder how many girls he’s said that to. This time raven had plenty of words for them “ you boys are some of the sexiest dudes I have ever seen! I mean like all of you are just mmm yum yum” “ Thanks” the boy on his left said. The one on the right said “ Y’all some beauties.” Kasha blushed, and then her serious face came back on. Joseph said, “this is Samuel and Bryon” Then we started talking and they helped us pack and as fast as we came we left. We just got in the car said see you boys around and left. Though wouldn’t you know it right after we couldn’t see the boys anymore Raven screamed.

When we got to Kasha’s house, I was surprised it was huge and it didn’t look like it was only three or four rooms looked more like 20. I didn’t want to sound overly excited so all I said was “thanks again, I really appreciate what you’re doing” but truthfully I was just amazed. Raven on the other hand did get excited and said, “ You said a house girl, not a mansion!” Kasha just laughed and said “You guys haven’t should see my uncles house, it is waaaaayyy bigger than this.” Her house was a golden color on the outside and every room had a different theme. Kasha’s house had like 26 bathrooms, a pool, a tennis court, a home theater, three kitchens, a game room, a room made simply for music, and she had butlers and maids.

The room she let me have was baby blue. It had it’s own bathroom, a balcony that overlooked a lake, a queen sized bed that had comforters that matched the walls a big mahogany dresser, a big screen TV, and a desk with a brand new computer on it. It took me a while to realize that my mouth was hanging open and I quickly snapped it shut. “What the hell is all this” I screamed. “Well I thought you wouldn’t want a flashy room so…” Kasha started but I quickly cut her off “you don’t think this is flashy” “nope I thought this is what you called normal.” Kasha said looking puzzled by my outburst

this is the rest of chapt 2

Obviously she wasn’t used to normal but neither were any of us so I could understand what she felt… kinda. “ So do you wanna test out the bed to make sure that it works for you because if it doesn’t I can always buy a new mattress?” Kasha said obviously trying to break the awkward pause and sure enough it worked because I tried it out alright and I was out cold before you could say Audrey wait (which just so happens to be one of the best books of all time or so Kasha swears). Still just before I was out I noticed something it suddenly seemed that the room started to glow and as quickly as it came it faded and I was overcome by blackness as good as dead to the world. Sandman take me away you stupid cunning dog…
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Last edited by rindaja; 11-16-2009 at 01:16 PM. Reason: add more of the chapter
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Unread 11-13-2009, 03:43 PM
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Good chapter
Getting slight interesting ^_^
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Unread 11-13-2009, 03:45 PM
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thanx thats the most i have for now though i need to write more but by the end of 2 years i should have it done... unless i get distracted
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Unread 11-13-2009, 03:46 PM
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Well.. you mentioned it was for a book. A book doesn't get written on a few days - it takes time. So my advice for you will be not to set a deadline for it. ^_^
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Unread 11-13-2009, 03:56 PM
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trust me i haven't i'm writing more write now thoughon monday i should be giving u a little taste of kasha since raven and katies parts are already out there
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