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Today, I Wish I wasn't a Parent

Posted 11-08-2018 at 09:59 PM by GohanMaster

There are times when I love being a parent. I feel so excited for my son to explore the world, to make new friends, to adventure off into the unknown with arms wide open... and then there are times when I wish I wasn't a parent. There are times like today when being a parent is very challenging and bring nothing but tears for both you and the child. Those are the days where I feel lost. I feel inadequate, discouraged, and empty. I feel like I'm ruining my sons life and setting him up how to fail because in that moment, I have failed at doing my job as a teacher and as a parent to guide my child and show him everything the world has to offer and in a blink of an eye, I lost it. Sometimes, certain things can set me off, and when my son is the one setting me off by pressing my buttons one after the next, I try to hold it in and think of alternative ways to handle the situation. But there are times when I snap, and those are the times I can't seem to get a grip or figure out how to fix the mess I made.

Today I fudged up. I snapped, and one things let to another and to another before either of us had a chance to calm down. I hate this because I feel like crap, and I hate how I made my son feel. I know he knows better, and I know he wants to listen, but he struggles to. Today is just one of those days where I'm just going to hate my self a little bit more and make sure he gets more hugs and snuggles. If I could turn back time I would. I wish I could. I always have a talk with him and make sure he understands why I was upset and what he did wrong. But doesn't change what happened. Feelings were still hurt, and I, as the parent, should have done better.
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